Monday, 10 September 2007

Feeling a bit down....


Today my partner starts her new hours at work [2p.m. to 10 p.m. [including Saturdays!] and she is really upset about it. Our three kids are all out the house by 8.30 a.m. and in bed before she returns home ; so the only time she can spend with the children is on Sunday when she'll be basically worn out ! To say she's disconsolate about the situation is an understatement: The tears flowed like a river...

As I'm incessantly telling you all, I'm a poxy shelf-stacker in the local ASDA - I hate every second of it - yes, I know, I should be grateful I'm not slaving down a mine or doing a psychologically draining job like a social worker or suffering a highly stressed job in the city, but I do have a brain and a modicum of talent ; and spending hours opening boxes of sausages isn't exactly working on the Manhattan project. Feeling sorry for oneself doesn't help anyone; but weak-willed sinner that I am, I do on occasion let my vanity get the better of me - working with young University students who have so many prospects ahead of them ; and having managers I'm old enough to have fathered - drives the abject futility of it all home. Sure I'm very lucky in that I can spend more time with the kids. But frankly I'm embarassed with the situation. I have applied for hundreds of jobs over the years; but nobody seems to want to know - I may be paranoid, but I don't think being an ex-seminarian helps my CV look enticing to an employer.

I just thought that typing it down might help exorcise the narcissism.

5 comments:

Philip Andrews said...

Hey Dude. I know where you are coming from, but remember, most people feel that way during their lives - I know I do. You've got three lovely kids, a loving wife and a sure faith in God. Nothing else really matters. As I've said to you before, you are seriously bright. God is using you now and will continue to in the future. Pity the 'highflyers' whose lives are devoid of real love.

Psiomniac said...

I think you are seriously dark.

Anonymous said...

What job is it that you would like to do ?

On the side of the angels said...

how long's a piece of string?

anonymous said...

Well, unless you have some kind of idea of what you would like to do, you will find it hard to get motivated to try and fulfill that ambition. I do think being a good father is first and foremost the priority... it`s your vocation for now.. but that doesn`t exlude doing something more fulfilling, if that is what you want.