Monday, 26 November 2007

Aaarghhh Avast me hearties ! Shiver me timbers...



Well the epic of the Flooded bathroom is over...but in this struggle with the forces of nature I have been wounded most grievously - it was not the talons of Scylla, nor the force of Charybdis....No Great White whale bested me - No Giant squid....in the battle with the burst pipe it was the smallest of axes that felled the great oak [well I'm more silver birch-like but...anyway]

Merely a tiny flake of plaster gently falling from the ruined ceiling which landed in my eye - usurped the place of my contact lens - and sliced through my cornea - screaming and throwing myself about the floor I managed to extract the lens, but the mote made off for the deepest recesses of the eye leaving a menacing trail in its wake.

After a day of vainglorious eye-baths and excruciation redolent of when I crushed my hand in a giant electric freezer door lock - I abandoned the workplace [to the manager's chagrin] and headed for casualty -
Nicky said my screams - emanating throughout the corridors of accident and emergency - were reminiscent of the first time we saw the Japanes Horror "The Ring" where the Demon lady climbs out of the TV set !!

Anyway it turns out my cornea is sliced and ulcerated so I'm on eyedrops and antibiotics for the next week and can only return to work on Thursday [ That's one planned Christmas present up the spout ! I'd follow Bishop H's advice and go 'on the game' but can't afford the red light bulb ! ]



Now the kids are in hysterics that for the next week at least I have to wear an eye patch - they are at present debating whether I look more like a Pirate or a Bond villain -
My problem is that the figure of my nightmares as a child was the one-eyed master miller from the german novel 'Krabat' [soon to be released on film incidentally- much better than that foul golden compass] ; so I have a tendency to jump every time I catch my reflection !

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